Webb

THE HALF- FAST CAD

Well, they've done it again. Every few years they manage to get into one of my vehicles. It is a very costly experience, running into hundreds of dollars in repairs.
My dogs don't like them any more than I do. I call them "Pack Rats", but I'm not positive that is the correct name for them. I find a corpse of one in the yard every few weeks, thanks to Bruno and Hannah. I even got three feral (the savage state of an animal) cats last year from Save A Pet, hoping that they could solve the problem. The cats gradually disappeared over a period of months, perhaps due to coyotes. I've tried all kinds of bait and even bought a $50 rat zapper, but I gave up on that as the only animals it ever zapped were Antelope Squirrels - and I like those little guys.

A couple of years ago, I let my friend Manny park his old classic Thunderbird here for "a few weeks". Well, "a few weeks" went into "a few months" and then I think we got close to a year. One day I lifted the hood of the car and found a huge rat nest covering the entire engine. I called Manny right away and told him what had happened. He could not believe what he saw. He and his son then very carefully removed the nest, piece by piece as there were many pieces of dried cholla mixed in with a lot of pieces of plastic, small pieces of wood and lots of dried weeds. Within a month the rats had built another huge nest. The main problem with such happenings is that the rats chew the wiring and all the plastic parts found in the motor compartment. It was about this time that Manny decided to remove his classic car from my care. I doubt that his beloved car ever ran again. I've been afraid to ask.

Some years before that we had a rather unusual used camper that I had taken in- lieu of a real estate sales commission. It started out as a new 1962 Cadillac up in Oregon. The owners had a custom-camper built on the chassis and it was really very comfortable. We had a sink, stove, ice box, a sofa-bed, a double bed and a dinette, but no bathroom, all on the Cadillac chassis. It would sleep four. When we would take it on a trip it attracted a lot of attention on the freeway. Folks would honk and wave as they passed. Our kids called it the "Half-Fast Cad". Then the rats got into the motor compartment while it was parked. They chewed the insulation off every wire and devoured every piece of plastic, such as covers to air-intake grills. The first thing I had done was to close up the openings, have all the wiring replaced, the engine cleaned, etc. Driving the Cad home from the shop was uneventful. Several weeks later we decided to take a weekend trip to Lake Hemet. It was cold so we turned the heater on. You cannot imagine the foul odor of hot, dead flesh that was created. We found out after getting it back to the shop that a nest of rats in the heating/cooling system had died after they were imprisoned by replacing the grill with metal screening!
We sold the Half-Fast Cad shortly after that!

We were out on Lake Alpine when the call came in on my cell phone. I had taken my two grandsons, Alex and Ivan, on the 500 mile trip to Arnold where we met up with son David for a couple days of fishing at the high Sierra Lake. The lake is located at the 7,500 foot elevation midway between Yosemite and Tahoe. Later we would meet with Shari, Dave's wife, granddaughter Lori Anne and great-granddaughter Abigail.
Most of my animals are enjoying summer camp at Camp Forrest in Joshua Tree. Had to leave Dakota, Misty and the mature pygmy goats at home. Took five baby pygmy goats, two mini-burros, two mini-horses and one big red rooster (he thinks he's a goat) to camp where kids from the Angel View Crippled Children's Foundation enjoy living in cabins, taking hay-rides, having campfires and enjoying a special swimming pool. Picture for a moment, a crippled child in a wheelchair leading a mini-horse around the campground and you'll realize why the animals are enjoying a couple of months at Camp Forrest. They even have a ball field and basketball court. Camp cook, Susan, serves up great chow for both kids and staff.
Now, back to Lake Alpine and my family of grandkids and great-grandchild. Warm weather had set in and the fish were deep, around 30-50 feet.
There was a full moon, meaning the fish could feed all nite. We fished a total of about four hours each of the three days we were there. Our total catch was nine rainbow trout. They were 12 to 14 inches long. I figure they cost somewhere around $100 a pound or about $10 per inch!
Now, getting back to that phone call on the lake, I was feeling like a kid having to wait a day to open my Christmas presents. Tom had called me saying that he would be picking up Porkchop Sunday morning in Twenty Nine Palms. Porkchop is only six weeks old, stands about 4 or 5 inches tall and is about 12 inches long. She has never been handled by a human being and was not confined to a pen. It was a major accomplishment for Tom and Kevin to catch her. I have her confined in a large pet carrier. Even so, I have not been able to handle her yet as she is unbelievably fast. and I'm sure my neighbors can hear her squealing whenever I attempt to pick her up. She is going to be a challenge. I just hope the little devil will be ready for camp next year. I can visualize a squealing pot-bellied pig leading a kid around the camp in a wheelchair, taking part in the parade of kids and animals. She had better be cooperative, or else--- porkchops!

In the last issue of The Valley Breeze, my son Dave and I described our trip to Pass Christian, Mississippi. Grandson Ivan, Dave and I drove 1842 miles in a little over 30 hours, arriving there at 3 am last Sunday.
We were part of a Rotary group from this district giving a helping hand to that small community devastated by hurricane Katrina nearly two years ago. Our District Rotary group has made a five year commitment to send volunteers for a period of a week. We had a budget of a little over $50,000 to help get some recreational facilities in operation for the kids who had returned to the community. This year was the second year of the five years of help planned by our Rotary District. Ivan will complete our report, as seen through the eyes of a college student.

Ivan’s Report:
When my Grandpa asked me to go on this trip I decided that it would be nice to have a week of rest from work and school.
I soon realized that rest would be hard to come by on this trip. The adventure began with a 1800 mile drive that lasted a little over 30 hours. Within hours of our arrival we broke ground on what would eventually be the playground. Work was hard with little sleep and humid conditions. However we received a tremendous amount of support from both the community and fellow Rotarians. During the trip we met many people from the community, all of which were very appreciative. Many informed us of the amount of devastation that Katrina left behind. Barbara, a citizen of Pass Christian experienced a great amount of hardship. Her home is 2 stories and located one quarter mile from the coast. The flood water completely covered her house and nearly 75% of the town itself. Our group was able to help her fix some of Barbara's home however it is still unlivable. Barbara lives in a FEMA trailer located on the side of her home, and was very grateful to be a step closer to normal living. This trip to Mississippi has enlightened me as to how fortunate I am and caused me to realize many things that I take for-granted. After seeing the destruction and meeting the community I only wish there was more I could do to help. Despite the hard work and lack of sleep I'm extremely glad to have come.

The Town that wouldn’t give up

DAY 1- We had the van serviced and loaded with our gear and were waiting for Ivan so that we might begin our long journey to Mississippi. We pulled out of Sky Valley about 7 pm Friday evening (March 23, 2007). By 8:30 we were crossing the Colorado River where we could buy gas for $2.69. Later on we were buying gas for $2.39, about a dollar cheaper than in the Coachella Valley.
Day 2-We entered New Mexico at 3:12 am, encountering rain and a temperature of 34 degrees. No snow, however. At 5:34 am we were in New Mexico and it wasn't long before we were in Texas, that godforsaken country where none of the cities had been planned with much logic. A lunch of Mexican food with more rain and dinner in Houston made the day rather unusual compared to California standards. Before midnite, we entered Louisiana.
Day 3-Now we were in Mississippi and arrived at our hotel in Gulfport at 3 am. We had spent about 36 hours of travel time covering 1832 miles from Sky Valley to Gulfport. Dave, (son) and Ivan, (grandson) and I were Rotary volunteers who would spend a week in Pass Christian helping those folks in a city which had been virtually destroyed by Katrina. Winds and a surge of Gulf of Mexico water destroyed the city and killed many of the citizens. It will take years to recover and these people are deserving of a lot of help from all of us. This project was sponsored by our Rotary District 5330. Dave is a member of the Arnold Rotary Club and Ivan is a sophomore college student at Westwood College in Anaheim. I have asked them to help with this column in describing the devastation those who have survived this terrible catastrophe are still enduring.
WORKDAY 1 "The water was twelve to fourteen feet deep right here where we are standing. The storm surge was 30 feet high when it came ashore, and it flowed through town and into the bayou behind us." I was talking to Chipper McDermott, the mayor of Pass Christian, who is also a Rotarian. "24 people lost their lives here, and 75% of the homes in our town were destroyed." We were standing in the parking lot of the Goodwill Missionary Baptist Church. A number of our group were inside the church for Sunday services, while the rest of us were working on building a playground for the kids. Jack, Ivan and I were in charge of unpacking and organizing all the pieces for the Rotarians who were putting it all together. When it was time for lunch, we were served a great meal of beans and rice, fried chicken, salad, cornbread and dessert by the churchmembers, who wanted to show their appreciation. We sat with a family who described how the entire church had flooded up to the second story, and all the work involved in repairing and rebuilding from the water damage. They also told us about how the National Guard had taken control of the town, since the local police had no cars, station or other equipment to deal with the crisis. Soldiers with M-16s, barbed wire and curfews were the rule. After 30 hours on the road, 3hours sleep in our hotel, and working all day, everything seemed a little surrealistic, except for the appreciation and gratitude shown us by the residents of Pass Christian.

It was a warm and breezy day at the famous Wild Ass Ranch in Sky Valley on Saturday, March 17, 2007, St. Patrick’s Day; but in the dry desert surrounding the beautifully landscaped Mediterranean-style home, nary a shamrock was seen.
What was evident, was the busload of young women who had come to have an outing at realtor Jack Webb’s home.
This is just one of the many facets of long time resident, Jack Webb. It is not something he talks about, but these kinds of events, to help bring some fun and laughter to the mentally and physically challenged Angel View clients, staged by Jack, brings not only joy to the kids, but also to the generous heart of Jack Webb.
As this is being written, Jack, his son David and grandson Ivan are in Mississippi, to help those people devestated by Hurricane Katrina, which hit Louisianna and Mississippi great impact, killing many and causing the loss of homes to thousands.
Jack purchased the 10 acres in Sky Valley, I believe, just so he could do things like this; to have these fun functions for groups of handicapped or less fortunate kids to come and enjoy this outdoor life.
The kids watch as Jack opens the barn doors and gates to the corrals, releasing the miniature horses, who run like the wind, so happy to be out of the small corral. Next comes the newest little burro, Dakota, who was raised by Jack, when Dakota’s Mother Rosie, rejected him at birth. He was a bottle baby, and Jack made a great mother.
The pygmy goats stayed in the goat house, dute to the pregnancy of one, but they were certainly making themselves heard, as they questioned what was going on.
Little Dakota is one of the friendliest burros I have ever been near. He took a liking to me for some reason and followed me all over the ranch. He stayed so close to me it was difficult to get a picture of him.
The Angel View kids were thrilled and chilled every time one or two of the ponies or burros walked up onto Jack’s massive veranda, trying to get a morsel of food off the children’s plate. This group was in the charge of Juanita Lopez, from the Mary and James House in Palm Springs; one of some 17 transitional houses built by the Angel View Foundation.
Many of the kid’s were feeding the animal pets, who nibbled and chewed on the paper plates, hot dogs and kid’s hands, seeming not to know where the food ended and the hands began. The animals are free to roam the grounds and are just big pets.
Jack’s daughter Beth was there, being the beautiful, quiet lady she has always been; ever smiling, ever cheerful.
As Jack is working the hot grille and serving up hot dogs and hamburgers, the uncanny olfactory senses of John ‘Whitey’ Morgan are activated as Whitey comes walking up to the grille out of nowhere, to claim a hot dog and a hamburger for his 6 foot 2 inch frame and his large appetite.
A second busload of kids broke down and the children on that bus did not make it to this wonderland extravaganza.
Such great surroundings is the ranch named by Jack’s children as the Wild Ass Ranch, due to Jack’s many donkeys, burros and past animals, including llamas, dogs, chickens, goats, horses, cats, a snake once in awhile. When Jack’s wonderful wife, the late Barbara was still running things, she removed all desire by Jack to purchase a monkey. Barbara told him that if such a purchase were to take place, it would be Jack’s choice as to whom would stay.
Barbara would have made her statement saying it’s me or the monkey!” As she tapped her foot, Jack would hesitate until she would exclaim, “Well, is it me or the monkey?” Jack would answer, “just a minute, I’m thinking, I’m thinking!”
This is Jack’s way of having fun. Jack’s sense of humor is highly developed as his devoted readers know. Barbara was Jack’s life and his glory. She was the flower in his garden; and what a beautiful garden it is.
Thanks for having us, Jack. - VB

Goodbye, Dakota

I hated to say goodbye to the little guy. He has been a real friend. He has moved to Yucca Valley to be with a nice family. They adopted him this morning.. Dakota was the baby burro born on Christmas Eve. His mother never loved him. His mother, Margie, and Pinky with daughter Abigail are being adopted by some other nice folks from Yucca Valley. They will be picked up next Sunday morning. I'm really going to miss them, but am anxious to meet their replacements, several mini-burros that will be arriving next month. My goal is to have a farm of miniature animals, including a miniature cow. Will even have some miniature chickens. Will have to keep Hector III, the big red rooster, as he wakes me early every morning from the top of the chicken house.

Will be making a trip to Pass Christian in Mississippi next week on a Rotary project. Son David (a Rotarian from Arnold, CA) and grandson Ivan, (now a sophomore college student), will be going with me. We'll spend a week working with other Rotarians from various areas helping those poor folks, the victims of Katrina, get back on their feet, if possible. With three of us driving, we should be able to make the 1,900 mile trip in about 40 hours. The plan is to follow I-10 through Phoenix, Tucson, El Paso, San Antonio, Houston, New Orleans and finally Pass Christian. Coming home we'll probably head up to Shreveport and then to Dallas and home.
Your April 1st edition of the Valley Breeze will have three sections to this column, one from a college student, one from a baby boomer and then one from the "over the hill" guy. We'll have our laptops with us so will keep Editor Buzz busy!
Should be interesting to read the different viewpoints on what Katrina did to our neighbors located on the Gulf of Mexico, and what is being done to help them.

DANCING WITH A DONKEY

Breaking news from the Wild Ass Ranch ---- My kids gave that name to my "ranch" here in Sky Valley.
My donkeys have been a great challenge, each of them with a different personality, much like the personalities in human families. Some even resemble several of my co-workers. I named my first two burros for my sister Margie and Barbara's sister Rosie. They came from the high desert area of Nevada and were wild as heck, but were tamed quite quickly. Next came Pinky, a really wild six years of age, however after about a year she has become a gentle soul.

About a year ago a guy named Jack from Yucca Valley spent several months visiting the girls. The result of his visit has produced three offspring. Pinky produced Abigail the first week or so of November. Abigail is a real challenge. Then Rosie produced Montana the first week of December. Finally, my buddy Dakota arrived Christmas Eve. He was a scrawny little guy whose mother never loved him, in fact, she hated him just like some human mothers. His mother, Margie, would bite him, kick him, chase him and knock him down. He was never allowed a drop of her very adequate supply of milk. Within 12 hours of his birth I had to separate him from his mother. As a result he had to be bottle-fed for six weeks.
He's now drinking a quart of cow's milk four times a day from a bucket and starting to eat a bit of hay and grain. I have tried several times to introduce him back to the herd, but his mother attacks him immediately.
When he was several weeks old I tried to teach him to run and jump like the other young donkeys were doing. He finally caught on when I would jump up and down and then run a short distance. He really did great. The training sessions came to an abrupt halt when the neighbor lady asked me if I danced with the donkeys every day.
Yesterday my friends Betty and George came by to see Dakota. My buddy has the run of the place as I can't keep him penned up with the other donkeys When George wasn't looking, Dakota walked up behind him and nipped his bottom side. Fortunately, Dakota doesn't draw blood, especially through clothing. He loves to grab one's clothing and will tug at pants, especially. I don't think George liked it when Betty laughed uncontrollably at Dakota's antics.
I'm not going to tell you which of my relatives or co-workers resemble certain donkeys at the Wild Ass Ranch in Sky Valley. I don't want to create problems with my family or co-workers.

She looked at me with a smile and I could understand why. I had really confused the girl when I asked her questions about babies. The girl was probably temp help because she really didn't know much about the different kind of baby bottles, milk supplements and nipples. I told her I wanted a longer nipple than those I could see displayed on the shelf. I also wanted a bottle that would hold more than six ounces. She wanted to know how old my baby was. When I told her my baby was only two days old she stopped asking questions.
His mother did not like him. I had raised her to be gentle, but when he arrived she kicked him, bit his legs and as soon as he could stand up and walk she chased him away. With advice from the veterinarian, I took over the duties of Margie, his mother. I obtained the milk supplement from the vet and the necessary feeding equipment from RiteAid and headed home to take over temporarily as Dakota's mother. Fortunately I had some part-time help from Rosie. Her son, Montana, now three weeks old, shared an occasional meal with Dakota. Now, one week later, he is doing fairly well.
This day, one day prior to New Year's Eve, has just not gone right at all. Usually, within about an hour of arising, I can tell how the rest of the day will go. The first thing to go wrong was the plumbing under the kitchen sink had broken, flooding the kitchen. That kind of thing really upsets me. Then I had to be at the bank early to take care of the fact that the ATM machine had eaten my debit card the afternoon before.
It must have been my fault because someone had already charged $17 worth of meat at a local market on the card. It takes time to cancel accounts and set up new ones. I hate to lose a credit or debit card!
Some friends and their children came out for hot dogs and to play with the animals around noon. I thought it a good idea to roast a chicken while the grill was hot. It was a large bird, over four pounds, so that took about an hour and a half. When the folks left, I decided to read the morning papers while the bird cooled on the grill. Later, when I went out to get it, it was not there. I know chickens can fly and they can run, but a dead chicken can't do either. Then I looked at the big, greasy spot on the patio floor and I knew what had happened. Bruno and Hannah were not around. I found them asleep in the loose hay down at the barn. Not only had they stolen and eaten the chicken, but Hannah had the baby bottle and Bruno had the nipple I needed in order to feed Dakota. Hannah sheepishly gave up the bottle, but Bruno immediately ate the nipple and plastic ring around it.
By this time, Dakota was crying but I did not have the necessary nipple. I knew the convenience store at Corkhill and Dillon didn't sell baby stuff so I had to drive the 8 miles into town. I did not want to risk running into the two girls at RiteAid, so this time I went to Walgreen's. I resolved not to let young ladies get embarrassed when making the purchase of a nipple.
I was now an authority on babies and the equipment to take care of them when their mothers won't.
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It was the most ungodly scream I had ever heard from her. “My gawd! Get that thing out of here!” Barbara was in the walk-in closet and there was only one way to exit. Jennifer blocked the doorway with the “thing”. As she screamed she did a little dance sort of jitterbug type of dance. I should never have laughed! Jennifer was holding a large gopher snake she had found in a creosote bush while we were hiking Live Oak Canyon near our home. We had only moved from Merced a few weeks earlier and Jennifer was quite excited to know that there would be snakes living near our new home. In Barbara’s mind, there is no such thing as a “good” snake, unless it might be a King snake, but only under certain conditions even then.
The story in the Desert Sun today about the lady walking her dog in Palm Springs near the DMV building when a coyote snatched her leashed pet reminded me of the hike Jennifer and I made a number of years ago that caused a near divorce. A coyote stalked us out of the canyon for about a mile, all the way back to the house. It stayed about 50 feet behind us. I was getting a little worried as to what its intent might be when Jennifer spotted the gopher snake several feet off the ground in the creosote bush. She had never been afraid of snakes. Sort of unusual for a girl. She finally got it untangled and stepped back onto the trail with her prize. It was really a big one, maybe four feet long. “Mom will be proud of me.” Our coyote stood still, staring at us and not backing up in the least during this activity involving the snake. A little unnerving was the fact that he seemed to be grinning at us. I did not feel like threatening the coyote as I didn’t know what kind of day he or she might be having. All ended peacefully until Jennifer took her prize snake into the house to show her mother. Barbara would not come out of the closet until I assured her a dozen times that the snake was now back into the wild. She wanted to know how far away it was taken and I fibbed a little. Normally she would want the snake “dispatched.”
Several years later we were living on Mountain View Road just outside the city limits of DHS. I had built a chicken house to house my flock of Rhode Island Red chickens, a rooster and six hens. Herman weighed about 8 pounds, by far the largest bird of the flock. He protected his harem of six young hens, as all males are expected to do. I wanted to clean out the chicken house that morning so decided to let them outside for a short time. Herman barely got outside the door when a coyote, hiding behind a creosote bush snatched him up and took off. I was only about five feet away. I chased the sob for a distance until I thought I might have a heart attack. I’m not sure of what I might have done if I had caught up with him. A coyote can almost make itself invisible so easily here in our desert. Most folks in town know that coyotes roam the city, mostly at night, and small pets make an excellent meal. Occasionally one hears where a small child has been attacked. Part of the problem is that some folks like to put out food for the coyotes, thereby increasing the problem.
Now, back to the snake story. Don’t forget your wife’s birthday and please don’t laugh if one of the kids brings home a snake and your wife is petrified! Women were born that way.

Christmas Eve As I was drinking my cup of hot green tea out on the patio this morning,

I was thinking of what a lousy year 2006 had been and feeling sorry for myself. I had watched the morning news showing the thousands of people stranded in the Denver Airport by heavy snow in the area. Things are screwed up all over the world and there seemed little hope that things would get much better soon. Editor Buzz had warned me to write something upbeat, something to make folks feel good about the future. To do that seemed impossible. I spent a full hour wondering if maybe I shouldn’t call Buzz and make some excuse for skipping the first issue of the year.

By then it was ten

o’clock and I moved out from the covered patio into the sunlight and suddenly my thought process turned positive. Here I was, now in shirtsleeves, a day before Christmas, with beautiful blue sky and majestic mountains in the distance. How many other people have that privilege? Those poor folks at the Denver Airport may not reach their destination for another couple of days. There are millions of people backed up out on the freeways, wondering if they’ll ever get where they are going by Christmas Day. Now I was beginning to think maybe I should go ahead with the column as I had become very positive when comparing my situation with others.

Besides the beautiful weather, I could look out and see my new baby burros, Abigail and Montana, something to behold. I turn them out of their corral every day and let them run. Abigail is 7 weeks old and Montana is 3 weeks old. We expect a brother or sister any day from mother Margie. Just watching all of them keeps me pretty positive in my outlook.

Christmas Day Woke up this morning to find that Margie had delivered a baby boy during the night. His name is Dakota. Had he been a girl I could have named her Mary Christmas! I’ll bet I’m the only one in the Desert Hot Springs area to have such a gift on this special holiday! Yes I am fortunate. The year 2006 has been a great one and I’m sure that the year 2007 will be even better.

The old guy wasn’t too enthused about making the trip. It would mean over 20 hours on the road, round-trip. Going to a wedding was not his choice of pleasant things to do, even though his granddaughter was the bride, he would rather make the trip to go fishing.

He had advised the bride and groom to sneak away to Reno to perform their marriage vows , only about a hundred miles from Sacramento where each worked. It was too late. They had already booked the Jack London Lodge at Glen Ellen near Sonoma/Napa wine country for their celebration. The old guy sort of dreaded being cooped up for two days with all of the partying, banquets, etc., but felt obligated to attend, as this was his only granddaughter being married..

The father of the bride seemed to be getting somewhat nervous the morning of the ceremony so he invited the old man, his father, to join him in visiting some of the local wineries for a bit of wine tasting. That would certainly make things easier to bear during the wedding and reception to be held that afternoon and evening. Wine tasting can be an educational activity if done properly. The learning process had to be cut short, however, as the ceremony was to begin in only a few hours.

Both bride and groom seemed to be not nearly as stressed out as the parents of the bride and groom. After months of planning flowers, gowns, catering, photographer, wedding cake, special wedding vows, reception, DJ, etc., they looked exhausted. The couple took their vows under the oak and pine trees at the lodge and all of a sudden it was all over except for the reception. The reception included a sit-down dinner with dancing under the stars. The old man’s wife had never allowed him to dance in public as he did not know how to dance without making some kind of fool of himself.

After watching all of the youngsters get out onto the floor and wiggle, spin and jump, he decided that this was really his first and maybe last chance to dance in public. He danced with the bride, the mother of the bride, his daughter and then anyone else who might not be embarrassed to be seen wiggling with him.
The old man admitted that this wedding was the nicest he had ever attended. He really had fun. It was the high point of his life in the year 2006. And so, as we move into the year 2007, we will all have good things and bad things happen to us -that is what we all must endure and enjoy as part of the life we live.
Happy Holidays!

We wanted to get across the border early that morning to avoid the usual long wait to get back into the U.S. Asked for a wakeup call at 5 am. Took about 15 minutes to gather our gear and check out of the Lucerna Hotel in Mexicali and head for the border, hoping to be home around 9 am. Delinda had left the prior afternoon and had a two hour wait to get across the border according to her cell phone message.

Six of us from the Desert Hot Springs Rotary Club were in Mexico for two days, working on our international project. Delinda had borrowed a large portable generator that would provide the power for the jackhammer and other equipment Doug brought and operated. Courtney headed up our project and did most of the physical work while Jai, John, Delinda and I were there as helpers. The three vehicles we traveled in had an assortment of tools which would come in handy for most any kind of job on the Rio Hardy project.

Traffic signals in Mexicali are not always easy to spot, especially in the dark. We were not on the road but about two minutes when I went through a red light. Unknown to me, immediately behind us was a police car, now with flashing red and blue lights. “Looks like I went thru a red light. I’m sorry”. “Si, Senor”. He asked for my car registration and driver’s license and took these back to his car. So far everything was pleasant in the encounter. I’ve been driving in Mexico for over fifty years and this was my first problem with their system of dealing with lawbreakers such as myself.
I have heard many stories about their system of justice so was a little apprehensive.

The officer had a little note pad he kept pointing to with lots of fine print in Spanish. I had many questions, but was getting no answers as he supposedly did not understand English. I wanted to know if I could pay my fine by mail. He would not understand the question and even the word “postal” that Court volunteered didn’t work. Finally said we could go home if we would go to the police station and pay the fine of maybe 17 dollars. That sounded somewhat threatening. He wasn’t real sure where the police station was –- maybe on the road to Tijuana, maybe ten miles.
I was very careful not to offer a financial solution, however he finally agreed that I could pay the fine to him. “Como mucho?”. “Forty dollars”. That was a long ways from the 17 dollars we had originally been informed of, but by that time I felt that a wonderful compromise had been reached. We could have spent a half day looking for some police department, perhaps non-existent. Might even have ended up in jail! I had plans for Thanksgiving that did not include jail time in Mexicali.

I don’t resent their system of dealing with lawbreakers such as myself. I learned my lesson at a reasonable price. I wonder what the cost would be in Desert Hot Springs? Not everyone will agree with this kind of solution to the problem based on principle. I just hope the officer’s family did not go hungry this week, and maybe the kids will have a Merry Christmas! “Si”.

This day has not been a good one. It was to be a day of getting ready to head up to Glen Ellen near Napa-Sonoma for a very special occasion, the wedding of our only granddaughter, Lori Anne Webb. I travel very lightly so it really was not going to be a big chore. I was awakened by the barking of Hannah about midnite. It was the kind of bark that said she was serious about her job of protecting the place. I got up, took a flashlite and went out to see what the problem might be. Couldn't find anything wrong and Hannah quieted down. I headed back to bed bringing Hannah inside with me. I always hate to have the neighbors bothered with her barking.

At 2:30 Hannah awakened me by licking my sleepy face. That was the first time she had ever done that. She was very nervous and wanted outside. I figured this time I would take an electric lantern I used to use for camping. By now I could hear that something was in one of the pygmy goat pens. I could not believe what I saw.

There were four dogs in the pen with my three young goats, Betty, Clara and George. As I approached closer one of the dogs jumped over the five foot fence. The other three escaped by crawling under the fence where they had entered. Later I found where they had dug under our perimeter fencing before trying to dig unsuccessfully into another pen with four mature goats, Lori Anne, Emily, Bambi and Brian.

Betty and George were twins born this year on February 2nd. I had purchased Clara in Yucca Valley when she was two months older than the twins. The dogs involved were a pit bull, a probable pit bull cross, a large black dog and another one I did not get a good description of. They were trying to pull George under the fence, nearly pulling one of his front legs off. A hind leg was nearly severed. George was alive when I got there but died within a few minutes. The girls were both crying and could not walk.
Turns out that Clara had a couple of broken legs and had to be euthanized by County Animal Control I thought little Betty had broken legs also, so gave permission to Animal Control to take her to the new 1000 Palms facility for euthanizing.

The two Animal Control officers were great in my time of need. I have only good things to say of them. They said the dogs will be back and asked if they could set a trap for them. The answer was easy. While I'm away for five days there will be all kinds of fellow Realtors spending the nights here at the "ranch".

And now the good news. I just got a call from the County Veterinarian. She told me that Betty could possibly be saved. No broken bones but a lot of wounds. She asked if they could go ahead and treat her and find abd then find her a good home. I felt this was a good solution as the other goats would not treat her kindly in her condition. Animals are just that way. Sorta like some people in this world of ours! I have often wondered if animals go up to heaven. Hope so!

A JOURNEY OF LIFE

The first time I remember seeing her was at band practice. She was playing clarinet. I was a Sophomore and she was a Freshman at Woodlake Union High School. I liked her smile and those dimples were fascinating. I saw her off and on over the next few years. She was tall and sorta gangly but now she was beginning to shape up a little. I had heard from her brother Zeke that she would pay him to milk the family cow whenever it was her turn for the chore. Her folks had migrated from Missouri a few years before she was born in the farming community of Seville near Fresno January 7, 1927. They were a typical working family and there were plenty of agricultural-type jobs in the area. Her Mother, Florence, packed fruit in several of the local packing houses.. Her father, Jack, worked in security at Sequoia Airport where training of pilots for WWII was taking place. He died at the early age of 48 a few months after being elected Constable for the Woodlake township. This left Florence with four kids to still at home to raise.

I didn't see her again until after the war when I got out of the Navy. My cousin Bill visited us and my friend Torchy arranged a blind date for him. Torchy was my date and Bill was to date a girl with an infectious smile and dimples. Sonuvagun, that was the girl that played the clarinet in band back a number of years ago. We double-dated about three times while Bill was visiting. I could hardly wait for him to leave town. I hoped he wouldn't come back soon, as I had plans for the girl with dimples.

Those plans resulted in our marriage in July 1947. We didn't have any money nor did our parents, but somehow we had a very formal wedding that hot evening in the Presbyterian Church in Woodlake. There was no air conditioning in the church. It was so hot that evening, all the candles in the windows melted! We were lucky to know the owner of the Visalia Mortuary who supplied some large fans for both chapel and basement where the reception was held. That evening we drove to Fresno and stayed in the Fresno Hotel for the hefty price of $5.50. The next morning we headed for a little resort on the west side of Lake Tahoe where we had reservations for a little cabin. We had dinner that evening in their dining room and were dismayed to find that their hamburgers cost 75 cents. Even if we ate hamburgers for every meal, we would have to cut our honeymoon short. Yes, it was a short honeymoon prior to leaving for for the next four years of college at UC Davis. Two of those years we lived in an 18 foot teardrop travel trailer, the other two were spent in a tiny studio apartment. By the time we left Davis in 1951 Beth had arrived and David was only a few weeks from entering this world. Jennifer arrived a few years later.

We spent ten years in the beautiful little village of Mariposa before moving on to Merced for business reasons. Again, business reasons meant a move to Redlands in 1968, prior to moving to DHS in 1975, 31 years ago. Since moving here Barbara has always been fascinated by the political situation at city hall. "Unbelievable", she would always say.
About eight years ago she was diagnosed with spinal stenosis. Everything was tried, including pain clinic, physical therapy, acupuncture, chiropractic, etc. Finally, Dr. Lonergan got her into Loma Linda University Hospital for surgery. This was about seven years ago. She got back on her feet with the help of a walker and wheelchair.
She was happy with the results but vowed never to have surgery again. During this time she also had two mastectomies. She never complained and there were few tears. She was a very brave woman! Dr. Lonergan did an excellent job of handling her pain control.

Many times her lady friends asked if it bothered her to be "picked on" in this column. She always said she preferred that she be written about rather than some other woman! I always let her read the column before sending it off to Editor Buzz. There were a few that never got printed! She was my proof-reader. A couple of months ago on Father's Day she complained of chest pains. Thinking it might be a heart attack, I immediately took her to Emergency at Desert Regional. After many different types of tests, the doctor came to her room and gave us the bad news. There was a mass in the right lung and the liver was showing signs of cancer. He advised us to call Hospice. The devastating news still brought no tears from her. We still had not heard the outcome of the full body bone scan. We got the results an hour later. Cancer was in most of the bones of her body, including hips (loosening the hip replacement she had received only a year ago), shoulders, ribs and pelvic area. More tests, including biopsies meant that Hospice was our only option. Hospice did a good job with pain control here at home where she wished to remain during her remaining days.. In spite of all of the medication, she spent many hours suffering. Our long journey of sixty five years was suddenly coming to an end.

She was a believer in the existence of heaven and was "ready for the Lord to come down and pick me up". I told her to "save me a place up there". On Labor Day she left us. She had the support of her family and friends in the long struggle here at home.
It did not seem fair to any of us that she would have to endure the pain for so many years, but that was something that none of us had control over. She was a loving wife, mother and grandmother! Our long journey of more than 65 years has ended. I'll never forget that smile and the dimples!

Do You Remember?
I was shocked. After nearly 59 years of wedded bliss, I could not believe what I was hearing. Our friends, Bill and Emma were visiting when she made the statement "I'm leaving you". I think they were shocked also.
They had brought their two children out for a visit with our animals here at the "ranch". Bill had good news for me. He is one of the managers of our local Kmart. That very day he had heard there was a party in the Yucca Valley area who had a couple of animals they wished to give away - free!
The really exciting part of the story was that the animals were a monkey and an ostrich. The two had grown up together and were inseparable. Their favorite activity was when the monkey would board the ostrich and the two would go riding. I could visualize this happening here on our property. We had both plenty of room for their roaming as well as shelter for them. Barbara could outfit the monkey in proper attire. So far, however, she had not said a word.

My problem was not knowing who I could contact. Bill said he would check with his employees, hoping that they might come up with the answer. It was at this point in time that Barbara erupted! "I'm leaving you. You can choose between the monkey and ostrich and me. I"ll never forget when you bought me a monkey about 50 years ago for my birthday. Do you remember what happened to our drapes? Do you remember who had to clean up all the messes? Do you remember ------". She went on and on. "Do you remember when the local radio station found out that Peanuts escaped and ran amok in the neighborhood for days?" I didn't think she'd stop. She has an excellent memory. "Do you remember when Peanuts unexpectedly had a stillborn child and she kept it cuddled in her arms for days before we could take it from her for burial?"

Now I have a real dilemma. Do I continue my search for the party with the ostrich and monkey or do I bow down to Barbara's threat? She sounds like she is serious this time. When I visualize my own ostrich and monkey riding together right here at our "ranch", the decision becomes a tough one.

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You might remember last year when Gertrude murdered Hector I. Fowl play on the trip from Los Angeles to Desert Hot Springs meant the demise of Hector I. We found a replacement for him out on the mesa near Yucca Valley. Folks wanted $15 for him, but Barbara said “no way are we paying $15 for a rooster who has had his tail feathers pulled out”. She offered $10 and the offer was readily accepted. Thanks to him we had five chicks hatch out Saturday. Three look like him and two look like the mother, Lucky Penney. Lucky Penney has deformed feet due to the fact that only with help from the Edwards family did she ever escape from the egg at birth. Took them two days to deliver her. She was totally depressed for several months (walked around with her head down) but seemed to recover after moving to our “ranch” in Sky Valley. Fortunately, none of the chicks have deformed feet, but we now have the problem of naming the offspring, Cannot do that safely for about a month until their sex can be determined. Of the eight eggs she started incubating, some varmit stole two eggs and one was infertile.

Big problem on the horizon in a few days.. What can a guy do for a wife of many years on Mother’s Day? After I forgot her birthday early in our marriage, I have been very careful to remember the various holidays. She gave me a subtle hint the other day that there was a special day coming up soon. I thought perhaps it was April Fool’s Day, but that had just passed. It was pretty easy back a few years ago when she was hooked on bingo down at Insanity Springs. Would give her a few dollars and send her off on that little bus filled with grey-haired ladies. Off they would go, down the hill, all talking at once. Barbara would never divulge the topics of conversation, but she did indicate that the subjects were quite serious. Maybe I can solve the holiday problem if I send her off with a few dollars to play bingo with her three lady friends who are coming out from Redlands on Wednesday for a visit. I’ll try that.

Several people have called or asked Barbara in person if she ever got rid of that snarly dog named Sparky. She tried to give him away free of charge and even offered one lady ten dollars if she would take him. Her ad in the Valley Breeze (Free Obo Sob) brought only a few calls, all of which were not productive. I’ve had several friends ask me about the dog. I have to admit to them that Sparky and I are starting to get along a little better lately, in fact I’m beginning to like the little guy even though he still snarls whenever I cuss him out for bad behavior. He reminds me of a coyote at times. Maybe he is part coyote. That would explain a lot of our difficulties we’ve had with him.

Will keep you informed of the names of our five new family members. Any recommendations will be appreciated.

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"Why I Still Love My Wife"
April B 2006
When that big stock trailer rolled in to our "ranch" in Sky Valley, I was still hoping that Barbara would take it nicely. Brian Edwards was bringing a new animal to us in his huge stock trailer, large enough to haul an elephant.
"Oh my gawd, Jack Webb. What are we getting now?" I really did not know what to expect when she saw our latest addition to our family. We really don't have a large family, only 3 chickens, 3 burros, 3 mature pygmy nanny goats, 3 tiny baby pygmy goats and 3 dogs. We had only 2 mini horses until the truck and trailer rolled in. Now we have 3 mini horses, Boogie, our little stallion, Misty, our young filly and now Cover Girl had just arrived. She is 13 years old, the mother of Misty.. Both Misty and Cover Girl have come from the same ranch up in Juniper Flats.

After the initial outburst, Barbara calmed down. She actually seemed to be pleased with our new addition.
I really think it might have been due to the fact that she had been going through some of our old boxes of junk that are supposedly keepsakes. Earlier that day she had shown me an article out of the Farm Journal of February, 1953, 53 years ago. The writer was a husband of some 50 years who had been brought up with the idea that all women were neurotic. Now I certainly don't believe that all women are neurotic, but there are times I can't help but wonder why women are so different from men.

Barbara has put up with my animals, my sparse landscaping, my sarcastic banter and my kidding of self-styled important people. She does well in controlling costs of living in spite of the fact that she's got her own checking account (although I still have to try and balance it every month). She's been loyal to my family, perhaps more so than I have of hers. When courting I agreed to attend church with her. She always hated sin, but has always been nice to those sinners, a few of whom lived in Desert Hot Springs. No high pressure salesman has ever been known to sell her a bill of goods.
You probably wonder why I was worried about the arrival of Cover Girl. Barbara was so relieved when she saw that mini-horse step out of the trailer with Brian that she had to tell me that she thought she would be a good addition to our family. That's why I still love my wife.

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Surprise Package

April A 2006

Seemed like this was going to be a day to be remembered. She seemed a little irritated when she got up and her little remarks indicated that I should be very careful about what I was going to face later in the day when Brian Edwards gets here with the “surprise”. She got a little testy yesterday when she found a pair of her tennis shoes in the pen with Boogie and Misty. She claimed they were her most comfortable shoes. My mini-horses love shoes better than most any toy they can be provided.

I decided to go out and feed breakfast to our animals. Hannah always wants to go into the pens with me when I feed. She and Boogie, our miniature stallion, like to wrestle and play. They go at it pretty seriously sometimes. Boogie likes to grab a mouthful of loose hide on Hannah’s neck and force her down onto her back. Then he can grab one of the four upright legs. Then they reverse roles. This went on for about 15 minutes. I finally decided to terminate the play and proceed with my chores. This gave Boogie the excuse to bite me (no blood). I think those two could play all day.

As I fed our three girl burros and their visiting boyfriend from Yucca Valley, I kept trying to figure out how Barbara was going to react to the arrival of my friend Brian in his big pickup pulling a 4-horse stock trailer. That trailer is big enough to haul an elephant. Barbara has a terrific imagination. She thinks there is a rattlesnake under every bush here at our Sky Valley “ranch”. It is that type of thinking that will get her excited when Brian arrives. After you live with the same woman for 58 years, you still get surprised at their thinking. As I was finishing up with the feeding, the truck and big old trailer rolled in. “Oh my gawd, Jack Webb. What are you getting now?” The tone indicated that this day would be one to be remembered. When she starts calling me by my full name, I’m in deep trouble.

To be continued ........

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SOME DOGS I’VE LIVED WITH

March B 2006 ~

We’re still trying our best to get along with Sparky. We don’t know his background, but he obviously must have lived on the streets, using his wits to survive. He’s been the most destructive dog we’ve ever had. About the only way we can live with him is to stop and think of all the wonderful dogs we’ve lived with in the past. It’s probably time that we have a little bad luck. We have never purchased a dog, other than paying a small fee at various shelters for animals.

Zsa Zsa, a Boxer, helped raise our youngest daughter, Jennifer. She was a sweet dog until an unknown person would get within about 20 feet of Jen. No sane person would go any closer. Later, our dog named Chico protected her while she was sleeping. He slept on the end of her bed and even a family member could not approach within a few feet without a definite warning. He was a smart little dog. He even knew when we got in the car to take him for his shots where he was going. He would start trembling .

When we lived out on Mtn. View Rd. we got a puppy from some good folks living on San Bruno Ave. We named our new puppy Bruno. Besides loving his family, his two greatest joys in life were riding in the back of a pickup and chasing coyotes from our property. He would get into any pickup that might be handy. We think that is how he disappeared one day. We hope he is living a happy life where coyotes roam!

It has been only a little over a year since we lost Patrick, a Yellow Lab, due to old age. Sadly, we had to have him put to sleep. He was our first dog to be buried here at our “ranch” in Sky Valley. We got him when he was a puppy after a friend watched a person dump him in the desert and rescued him. He might have been a candidate for papers, but he was born with only a stub for a tail. That could have been the reason for the abandonment. It wasn’t long before we got Hannah from one of the shelters. She’s a cross between a Boxer and something else. She loves our burros. Her favorite pastime is cleaning their faces. We still have our little housedog, Bo. He was wandering Pierson Boulevard for days before my friend Jessica picked him up and we adopted him. I didn’t dare take him home until he had eye surgery and was fixed. (Barbara now knows that “fixed” doesn’t mean going to obedience school). After a bath and a trim he was now ready to meet Barbara. She immediately said “that’s our little Bo”.

When we lived out on Mountain View Road we adopted a dog at the DHS Animal Shelter. She was some sort of Collie cross. We named her Freckles due to spots on her sides as well as freckles on her tongue. The folks at the shelter joked that she had two hysterectomies, one in error. Well, it wasn’t more than about two weeks until every boy dog for miles around started visiting. A third hysterectomy solved the problem. Barbara’s feeling was that DHS City Hall was at fault for this. She has never forgiven the City for this.

I feel sorry for families who do not have a dog or two. Kids miss out on so much when they are deprived of pets. Too bad there isn’t a law requiring every kid having access to a family pet, perhaps a dog, even one like Sparky!

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The classified ad Barbara had prepared for the Valley Breeze a couple of weeks ago, brought several responses. She was hoping to find a new home for "Sparky", one of our three dogs. We've never had a dog so ill-mannered nor reluctant to take orders from us. You might remember the ad:

FREE obo
Brown 40 lb sob.
Shots and Fixed
Snarly with bad disposition
Call Barbara 760-329-9721

I guess I was at fault for telling her that "Sparky" had been fixed. She thought that meant that he had gone to obedience school. She relayed this info to a lady calling for more information. This dog had obviously never been to such a training school. Barbara exaggerated by saying, "Oh yes, he can 'sit' and will 'stay'". Every dog we have ever owned could be trained to sit and stay, but not this one. The poor lady was thoroughly confused. Barbara felt badly about misrepresenting the truth, so called the lady back and told her "Sparky" had never been "fixed". The lady decided she didn't want such a dog.
In addition to our canine problem, we became the proud grandparents of three baby pygmy goats during the last two weeks. Mother Lori Anne produced twins, a little boy (George) and a little girl (Betty). They weighed in at about 2 ½ lbs each. Several days later our Emily produced a little boy (Brian), about 2 lbs. Those little rascals were jumping and running within a day or so of arriving at our "ranch" in Sky Valley.

Jack, the burro, is still visiting our three girl burros. They don't like him most of the time, driving him away from the morning and evening feeding of hay. At other times they actually ask for his attention. Humans are so much like animals that I am constantly amazed.

It's about time to be thinking of a trip. This is the time of year that I start thinking about fishing in the high Sierras or heading south to Mexico. I would love to visit the whales in Scammon's Lagoon once again. That is a trip I will never forget, especially the bikini-clad young lady with the tattoos, but I will explain later. Right now I must take care of our newest family members and try and get rid of that darn fixed dog.

March A 2006 -
Sparky arrived one Friday evening about two months ago. He seemed to be a friendly fellow, maybe a year old, about 40 pounds, of unknown breeding and of a light brown color. Our ex-neighbors from town thought that our "ranch" would make a perfect home for Sparky.

They had picked him up at a local shelter earlier in the week, thinking that he would make a good companion for their two kids and dog "Misty". Their dog did not get along with Sparky and retreated to the garage, not budging from under the car for three days. They gave up, but being good ex-neighbors, we agreed that we would "try out" Sparky for the weekend. If he wasn't a good "fit" for our two dogs we could return him. We've always had dogs, but have never had one that was such a challenge. It was only because of this challenge that we agreed to keep him longer than the weekend.

This dog must always have something in his mouth, whether it is a newly planted shrub or a nicely planted house plant. I was preparing to barbeque a whole chicken one evening. This dog jumped on the counter top and took off with the chicken. He snarled at me when I called him names that I had learned in the Navy many years ago. He does not take scolding kindly. He curls up into a half-circle, bares his teeth and then snarls.
He did not like Bo, our small dog. Hannah, our Boxer-cross is thrilled to have a companion that will romp and play all day. Hannah has always been a challenge, but after a year, she was finally beginning to calm down. The problem is that she now is picking up bad habits from Sparky. The best time of day for them is if they can beat me to the street, they can each have a paper -- the Desert Sun for Sparky and the Press Enterprise for Hannah. We have to keep our garage door closed as Sparky jumps and climbs onto our storage shelving. He especially likes the large packages of paper towels or toilet tissue. There is no such thing as an upright container of any kind as he will turn it over and spread the contents.

I noticed that Barbara was working on some kind of document after dinner last night. She explained to me that when she was in our hot tub Sparky had grabbed her bathrobe. Before she could get dressed, Hannah and Sparky had played tug-a-war. Barbara loved that bathrobe and it was beyond repair.. It had been a gift. She showed me the document she was working on. I guess she was going to give it to Editor Buzz. I was shocked!

FREE obo
Brown 40 lb male sob.
Shots and fixed
Snarly with bad disposion.
Call Barbara,
760-329-9721

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February B 2006 - I’ve been under a lot of stress lately. The holidays created most of the stress, but having her do it every January 7 just adds to the misery of the season. I always try to do something a little different from the usual refrigerator magnets, so this year I really surprised her when she awakened that morning and headed for the bathroom. There was a cup of hot green tea and a single rosebud I retrieved from a Christmas bouquet sitting on the basin countertop. One might think that this would suffice for a 79th birthday, but I could tell that it might be inadequate.
    She had been buggin’ the heck outa me about my animals so I was not in a real generous mood. She is worried that if I “kick the bucket first”, who is going to take care of the animals? One would assume that she would, but that doesn’t seem to be on her agenda. I offered to take her out to dinner. She likes the nacho grandes at Del Taco. She did not take kindly to that idea. Best hamburgers are at In ‘n Out in Thousand Palms, but that didn’t seem to satisfy her. OK, I will barbeque and we will invite a few of your friends in. Hit the jackpot with that one.
    She had been stressed out over some of my suggestions. Most folks know what happens when she gets stressed out. I’ll never forget the night that I was bitten by a spider and she immediately called the ER at Desert Hospital.
    “My husband has just been bitten by a spider, maybe a black widow spider”. “Where was he bitten?” “On the patio”. “Madam, please calm down. What part of his body was he bitten?”. She was falling apart by now. “On his -----(much hesitation) --- on his ----- right hind leg”.
There have been things happening here at the “ranch” in Sky Valley that she doesn’t quite comprehend, and this makes her a little nervous. Our three girl burros were desirous of attention, so I made arrangements for a guy named “Jack” to visit with them.
   The gawd-awful noises at night have been a little frightening to her. Our two new Mini Horses (Misty and Boogie) are beautiful little animals and are not as threatening to her as the larger burros.
Lori Anne and Emily, two of our pygmy goats are pregnant and I think this makes her a little more nervous. When I was studying Animal Husbandry at Davis, I was able to really lend a helping hand when she was pregnant with our three kids. She tends to forget how knowledgeable I am about what is going on here at the ranch.
    I often wonder what other men do when the wife has a birthday. I would certainly appreciate hearing from anyone wishing to share that information. Maybe Editor Buzz would let me share such information with our readers.

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December A 2005 ~ The winter holiday season is not my favorite. Seems that if anything is going to go wrong in my life, it will happen during this time of year. Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day. I had insisted that Barbara go with her friends Gertrude and Lillian to one of the casinos, perhaps Insanity Springs, for a few hours in the early morning. Gave her $20, hoping she wouldn’t spend it all, but at least I would now have a chance to get the turkey going as well as boil the giblets for gravy, peel the sweet potatoes, etc. Once I got these chores done I decided to shave and shower, but only after getting the new dishwasher going. I finally figured out how to put the Spic ‘n Span soap in and then my next problem was not easy. There were a multitude of buttons to choose from. I finally pushed the “normal wash” button and headed for the shower.

I was not aware that one needed a special dishwasher soap for the new-fangled machine. Upon getting finished with my shower I ventured into a kitchen covered with about a foot of soapsuds. Not knowing the cause, I finally located the manual showing a trouble-shooting section. I quickly learned that Spic ‘n Span is not the kind of soap to use. About the time I got the place cleaned up the ladies returned. Barbara had lost the $20. That really ruined my Thanksgiving Day.

I had another problem to deal with. Jack, our guest for the month had been with us for only a week when the accident occurred. He was in quite a bit of pain and found it difficult to get around. Our Sky Valley “ranch” is in an area where the soil is sandy and loaded with rocks. Somehow he got a pebble lodged in his left front hoof. He had planned on staying for a month and this now meant he did not feel good for over two weeks during this time. Animals are so similar to humans. Once Jack did not take an interest in our three girl burros, they turned unpleasant toward him. They did not even want him to eat with them so I had to feed him separately. They would back up to him and let him have it with both hind legs. I imagine some of this could be called pay-back His Thanksgiving vacation was completely ruined, although I’m not sure if burros celebrate Thanksgiving. This year we will be celebrating our first Christmas at the “ranch”. A few years back our animal collection amounted to only two dogs. We had wrapped Christmas gifts for them, placing them under the tree. I guess we had expected them to sit back and wait their turn, but apparently they could smell the goodies. Rocky and Bruno promptly got into a big fight under the tree, knocking it over and destroying Barbara’s hard work. It really wasn’t a great Christmas eve after that. I wonder what kind of a gift a burro or a pygmy goat would want for Christmas?

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November B 2005 ~ No, this column is not about me, but another guy named Jack. He arrived at the “ranch” in the early evening. We really weren’t ready for guests who might stay a month or so. Barbara was not enthused about his visit. Seems like our move to Sky Valley has been one that lasted for months, and we’re still not really settled in like we would prefer before having guests.

Barbara had insisted that everything be hauled to the new home where she could then take her time in sorting out junk, garage sale items and those things we couldn’t live without. The additions to the old cabin are not quite complete and I’ve got acres of landscaping to complete. In other words, we’re going to be busy for a long time and this guest arrived at an inopportune time.

We didn’t get much sleep the first nite Jack was here. He had come from the Manimal Ranch between Yucca Valley and Landers on the High Desert. Mannie also delivered 25 bales of alfalfa hay along with Jack. The three girls, Rosie, Margie and Pinky crowded the fence, wondering what was happening. Our three dogs, Bo, Hannah and Sparky were barking wildly and Jack was getting hesitant about getting out of the trailer. The welcoming committee was getting very noisy and uncontrolled. I kept waiting for a telephone call from one or more of the neighbors complaining about the racket. I had instructed Barbara to draw the shades in the cabin as I did not want her to observe what might be about to happen.

I had made a very serious decision concerning Ivan and Alex, father and son pygmy goats. Ivan had decided that he and I were adversaries and young Alex was taking after his father. The decision was made that they would board the trailer when Jack was finally convinced that opportunities awaited him in Sky Valley. That did not take too long for Jack to invade the domains of the three young ladies, leaving the trailer vacant for the two billies to load for the trip back up the hill.

By now I could tell that we would be having an interesting month ahead of us. I could see Barbara peering from the kitchen window in spite of my instructions. I will never forget my Mother protecting my brothers, sister and me from the worldly activities of animals. Two dogs had somehow become very friendly in our back yard. My Mother threw a sheet over them and then doused them real good with a garden hose. I become nearly hysterical thinking of Barbara throwing a big sheet over a couple of donkeys and dousing them with water! A report will be made in the next issue.